Performance & Physicality
The best part of the short is watching you guys act. I want to see more of that. More actual acting and performing. We can build scenes that feature more of the performance, less of it found & built in the edit (the editing is great, by the way. Lots of short, hard cuts have amazing timing and create a wonderful button for a lot of the moments).
Find opportunities to let scenes/moments play out in Wides/2 shots. Don't cut away as often.
Let us receive the beautiful gift of watching you two act with actual teenagers. More of that!
I also want to be able to enjoy what you guys are doing with your bodies. Those awkward stances are magic. I want to see them.
Cinematic & Surreal
Enhance the cinematic elements. Make the surreal moments stand out, but still feel natural. Nothing that overtakes. It's about creating visuals that illustrate a feeling/enhance a moment. Those are the best parts of the presentation to me. We can take that further.